Faith

Patrick Overton once said, “When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.”

Faith is believing without seeing. It is trusting in something you cannot comprehend. When things get tough, you are supposed to be able to rely on something stable, something that will not budge no matter what comes to it. You are supposed to be able to rely on faith- you are supposed to be able to rely on God. But if you aren’t tested of your faith, where does that bring you?

Things in life aren’t just handed to you. The same applies with faith. If you don’t work for it, there is no appreciation. You work to build your faith higher and higher, stronger and stronger. The love of God becomes stronger in your heart. But unlike material, earthly things, faith never runs out.

Matthew 9:22 says:
"Jesus turned and saw her.”Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment."

Our faith allows us to achieve SO many things. Once you let God in, your journey to ultimate happiness begins. You can let go of Him, but He will never let go of you. He loves you unconditionally. He created you, perfectly. Still, you may wonder what the point of faith is if it does not alter His love for you. Well, it’s simple. Although His love does not change, yours does. Faith enables you to become closer with God. It makes you have so much more belief in Him than ever before. And it grows and grows and grows.

Faith and the amount of faith one has determines his or her path. It divides those people who believe in God and those who do not. It is a factor in determining life. It’s important, and once you have it, it can change your life.

Patrick Overton once said, “When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.”

Let faith fill you; let it fill that empty spot inside your heart. Give it to God, let Him help. Let it allow you to spread your wings and fly. Let it save you. Let it be that solid something that will not budge when things become too tough to handle. Let it encompass you, with whatever state you are in. Let it manipulate you into something bigger, something stronger, something you never could have imagined.

Angels.

If I had to make one point about how we live our life and angels, it would be this:

When we’re born God gives us an open hand. It’s always there for us whenever we need it. It’s there to hold our hand when things get tough, to pat us on the back when we achieve something as little as tying our shoes for the first time or something as big as getting married and starting a family. That hand is always there for us, whether we fall into bad habits, addictions, depression, feelings of hate—even towards God. It is always open to us. But some of us are too scared to fully commit to God. That’s where angels come into play.

Angels have the ability to give you the slightest dose of faith and security of knowing that there is something out there, something much larger than us, which can fulfill our innermost desires of love, courage, wisdom, strength, and happiness. Angels are the mediators between us and God. They are there to give us a little pat on the back for our accomplishments or a hint when we pray instead of an answer. All of which angels provide is nothing compared to what you can get from God. Angels are providers, angels are protectors. Angels are the ones who build us closer to God.

Percentages.

There are way too many things the children of today have to face. It’s as if everything waited to get this bad and in the future it can only get worse. Approximately twenty-five percent of people ages 12 to 20 suffer from an eating disorder; five of that percent end up dying from it. There is an estimated 20 million people in the United States who suffer from depression. Nine percent of kids ten years old and younger are diagnosed with ADHD. Since when are all these problems rising? Why can’t it just be how it seemed to be years and years ago- kids running around all the time, no worries, no concern that your child will be kidnapped walking to a friends’ house, any of that. It is not how the world is supposed to be. It is not at all, and none of it makes sense.

There is no valid reason why things should have turned out this way. The people in your life are supposed to build you up, not tear you down. And those who enter your life are not meant to just break free at their will.

I don’t get personal. But this has gone too far. The world is so screwed up that every little thing has to be evaluated. Today, no one can tell the truth from a lie. There are no shortcuts in life. The things worth achieving are worth fighting for. As for me, I am just beginning to fight. I screw up and let myself down on a daily basis. Everything builds up and those, ‘Oh I’m fine’ sentences are the last string. You break down to nothing and just when you think you are getting to exactly where you want to be something else happens that puts you right back into that rut.

You have to find that strength inside yourself, I have to find the strength inside myself, which enables you to believe you are capable of anything and everything, because you are. All those conformities mean nothing. And every second you lose is another second you cannot gain back. It’s lost forever. In this life, the main goal is to create who you are. Are you going to be vulnerable or stand up for yourself? Sit back and watch the world pass you by or take action? Take responsibility or act like a child? We all need to grow up. This is our time. And with the percentage of screwed up people, this society needs us to start acting like adults sooner.

That’s it, pointblank. Grow up; you aren’t incapable of being who you want to be. You aren’t helpless and you don’t need anyone else to tell you that. Problems are getting stronger and the people are getting weaker. It’s our time to take control.

Perfection.

There is no one even near perfection in this humane world. Those who seem to have everything in place are usually the ones most broken. They see nothing of importance in the world except material things to take the place of the lack of happiness they crave. Although not quite perfect, those who are poor and in need are closer to perfection than any others. When the only thing to rely on is belief in faith, everything makes a turn for the better.

So why is it that those who have nothing in the end have the most? It is because those who have nothing are able to believe without seeing instead of seeing in order to believe. Believing in faith enables one to find an eternal love- more specifically, the eternal love in God. He is more powerful and loving than any human being can come close to becoming. There is no ultimatum with God for He is the epitome of perfection.

In our society, there is always a standard that hasn’t been quite met and in the entire bustle of the world, people seem to lose sight of the things that really matter. For some, the idea of being lost is worrisome. Not being able to see that light at the end of the tunnel because you’re on a curve, getting even more off track from all the speed bumps and rocks thrown in the middle of the road.

Go even to the extent of saying love cannot near perfection. But it used to seem perfect- all those sitcoms portraying ‘the perfect family’ or ‘the perfect couple’. They cannot be meaningful because there is not a way to create a love without worry and concern; there are always faux pas in love. A few wrong words, a couple incidents- nowadays there are a number of things which can endanger a love which people share.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
1 John 4:18

The only one who can give eternal, infallible love is God. And with Him, one cannot be afraid. He is the protector and we are the children. His love does not fluctuate based on decisions we make. We are made perfect in His eyes, through His love. And concluding from that, we have no reason to fear.

Steubenville, Atlanta 2009.

There are always going to be times when you feel like no one is around. Where there seems to be no one to comfort you when you are crying, calm you when you are scared. But there is one person who is always constant. And that person is God.

Steubenville, Atlanta 2009. Nothing like it in the world.

“You’re stuck in a thorn bush, trying to get out. But every time you try to free yourself, you get struck with your sins- the thorns. Then Jesus sees you. He is mighty enough to take a sword and cut you out, but instead He pulls the thorn bushes from around you with His bare hands. The thorns cut deep into his skin but He still persists because He doesn’t want to risk hurting you with the sword. He would rather take the pain to save you, his child, from your hurt.” (Mark Hart)

God touched me, and everyone else, in so many ways this past weekend. I learned an immense amount about myself and I struggled with battles that had been constantly going on inside me. I can’t even begin to explain what Steubenville changed inside me. And this time, I really am changing things about myself.

God cares about you. He cares about you more than anyone else in the world ever could. He has a grand plan for you, only for you. You were created perfect in his eyes- absolutely perfect. It’s hard to understand but it’s true.

There used to be only two people I absolutely needed to live in this world. Now, it’s three.

He works wonders, let Him do it on you.

Remembrance.

When you go through something in your life, there is always some thing in the future that will reflect on the past. Maybe it’s a person, maybe it’s a smell. But whatever it is, it’s remembrance.

I remember the first time I ever wrote something really meaningful. I was sitting on the bus on my way home, thinking about everything that had been happening in my life. A song started playing on my iPod, blasting loud into my ears. There was this one verse that triggered a lot of emotions. I kept on rewinding it, listening to it over and over again. It was so intense it actually brought tears to my eyes. I got off the bus and started walking down my street. Still replaying the song again and again, I looked down and saw a leaf on the road. And just as I was feeling, the leaf looked. It was totally broken, had been thrown all over the place by the wind, and was just a complete a mess.

I have this thing about symbolism. I can see something and relate it to something even deeper without realizing it. I overanalyze things just as much. So when I heard the lyrics of the song, then the leaf on the road, my mind went crazy. I got inside my house and for the first time, felt that compelling desire to write. So I did. And there began this entire.. Thing. My need to write; my love to write.

Recently, the song has been playing on the radio quite a bit. I put in a CD and it was on the track. And that one line, the one same line that impacted me seven months ago, still makes my heart tighten a little.

The things you’ve been through may be better than worse. Or they maybe worse than better. It will always be your past and there will always be things that come up and remind you of events that happened in your life. If you weren’t supposed to remember them, you wouldn’t. But you were given a mind, a memory, all to help you remember your lifetime.

Not one other person in the world has lived your life. Not one has your story. YOU own it, only you. There may not be ways to express your views to someone else only because they don’t have your mind. It’s as simple, but at the same time so complex, as that.

Remembrance; it impacts all of us in the smallest of ways.

Butterfly Fly Away.

Just as caterpillars must turn into butterflies, we must someday turn into adults. To be able to break free from our nest and make something big of ourselves. Today, we may not know what we’re going to be in the future but we still have our dreams.

Caterpillars have this instinct to begin their new life, forming cocoons, they pull themselves in from everything happening in the world. Although caterpillars don’t hide away out of fear, they still isolate themselves while changing, they know that in so much time they will have the ability to emerge a bigger, more powerful insect. They will have beautiful wings, allowing them to see the world in a completely different perspective. Teenage years reflect this.

Even though we know we have a future and our dreams, we still pull away from others and sometimes even ourselves. During these years, we’re growing in our own little cocoons, discovering new things to better prepare ourselves for adulthood- being a butterfly.

Soon enough, the newly formed butterfly will have to fly away- butterfly fly away.

Rain.

All things are living. There isn’t a thing in the world that can hold in every emotion for as long as time passes. Clouds pour rain, drowning the world in sadness. To some, the rain is a cleansing. To others, it is a weakness. Our rain is pushing its way through our bodies, trying to get out. And one incident, one tick, unlocks the floodgates inside of us.

See the rain, gaze at its beauty. And even if it isn’t your rain falling.. it’s someone out there’s. Someone out there is crying, someone out there is broken. Someone out there is falling to pieces.

Maybe they’re right next to you. Maybe they’re miles away. Either way, they are living.

Pray for them. Help them. Because chances are if it were you, you would want someone there to hold you up when you’re crashing.

Instinct.

In life, we are given countless opportunities. Some things emerge without notice, without reason; others give the fullest explanation in advance, in a way to prepare us for what is to come. So, how do we prepare for the unknown? How can we predict what will happen with enough time to put together our thoughts? And that’s just it- we cannot do any of these things.

This is the time we must rely on instinct. Instinct which we have leaned on throughout the years, built up throughout our lives. The instinct telling us to take our first steps is the same instinct telling us that he or she is the one to spend the rest of our lives with. The instinct telling us to stand up for something is the same instinct telling us to just let things be for the better.

So what do we do when we feel no instinct to such surprises that come up? We have to reach, reach deep down and try to harness all those emotions, feelings, thoughts, concerns and find what feels right. Sometimes, what seems right is the answer. Other times, what is the right answer doesn’t feel right. Either way, instinct is the basis of all intelligence and thought. Instinct will always be present to make choices, ask questions, and act.

"He doesn’t know to want for more because nothing in his life has been as much as this...on that night he thinks that no one has ever had so much and only later will he know he should have asked for more." Ann Patchett (Bel Canto)

When things happen, our thoughts become blurry and can easily get caught up in the moment. Instinct tells us to wait. Our minds tell us to act. Instinct tells us to reach out, minds tell us to pull back; instinct tells us to ask for help, minds tell us help is useless. Nevertheless, all the chances given to us are based around our actions on them.

Every choice we make matters. Every word we say matters. Every act we do matters. Even those things we don’t do matter. Every second of every day we are making choices. Some of these choices are made subconsciously; breathing, blinking, moving, thinking, etc. Those choices are by instinct. No one taught us how to breathe, no one taught us how to think, no one taught us how to blink. We know these things by nature.

Therefore, we should not dwell on the things we cannot alter when there are opportunities and decisions waiting to be made. Although the verdict may not come as easily as how to breathe and so on, we must build up our lifelong pattern of thought, impulses, to gain the knowledge to make these choices. Odds are, once we connect our mind with our human nature, things will become a bit simpler; we will be closer to all our answers.

Past.

The past is the past for a reason. Incidents cannot be changed, decisions you made will always have an impact on your life now. Everything has meanings we will never have the chance to pull apart and interpret, understand. Everyone’s history is different and there is not anyone who will understand it in the way you yourself do. But whatever it holds, it brought you to how you are today; who you are today.

We cannot change the inevitable. Fundamental but complex; it cannot be done. Even God cannot change the past; He of who is able to do all things. How to let go, how to understand, how to move on- that is the question.

“A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way”
- Pieces; Red

We fall from everything that happens in the present. We are broken, broken to pieces. And then, we think about everything that has happened to us. Some things not as bad as others, some worse; it scares us to think about how deep you are and how much deeper the future will pull you. Sometimes in life we need someone to take a moment and bring us back to who we remember. Back to those days when a day never went by in which you did not laugh, back to those days when you actually remembered every day happenings, back to those days when you were not paranoid every time someone with authority over you said the dreadful words, ‘We need to talk.’ Every person who comes into your life has a reason. Each has a message to share with you, another building block making up your life; another piece of the puzzle. We may not know it at the time; we may not ever figure it out. But there is a reason.

It was the last day of school. She was there, I was there. Getting picked up outside the ROTC building, people crammed themselves into my brother’s car with me, her included. I kept looking to the back, asking myself if I really wanted to leave that life. Leave the people who remained by my side through everything, leave the people who had, in one year, become my family. That small organization, that small group.. It had such an impact on building me up, breaking me down, finding who I was. Then, I was a scared little girl. But each and every one of them pushed me to my limits and made me cry. The funny thing is, the ones who were hardest on me seem to be the most important ones; the ones I cannot bear to let go of.

Looking back, things may seem unclear. Many questions remain of why and how. But nonetheless, it remains unchanged. Ask yourself, if you had the power to go back in time and change something, would you? If yes, then ask yourself this: if you changed something, where would you be today? No matter how big or how small, something in your present life would be altered. Everything that has been pushed to you has made you.

How you live your life is not automatically set in stone, you have to create it yourself. Apiece decision puts another portion of your life together. But then again, each decision once made cannot be changed. Be wise, you’re creating your past. Every second passed, every word read or said or thought.. It is building you. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worst; either way, it is creating history. And no one’s is similar.