Asystole.

Thump, beat. Thump, beat. Your heart accelerates, lines increase. In and out, up and down you breathe. Your chest fills with air, yet you are not here. Thump, beat. Thump, beat. Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat.

Baby, my baby. I beg you to breathe. Pull through, be brave, I need you to hold me. My hand lay in yours, gently rubbing fingertips. React, my love. React to my touch, my feel. Your face has died (it feels like my soul), lifeless you lay, tubes running through your nose.

Is this it, I wonder. I calm suddenly. Manifest hope, I've been manifesting your dreams. Is this it, I wonder, what life's become? Sitting, lifeless, your body, baby— so young. I close my eyes, tears roll down my face. I'm saying goodbye, closing doors on fate.

My head rests beside you, mechanically beating heart inside. I feel you lay where I used to reside. Less functional alone, it pumps your blood. The cardiac monitor hums a tune of love. Thump, beat. Thump, beep beep. My love, live on. Repeat love, encompass truth in mind.

I open my eyes, glance your way. Wires hooked to medication on a pole drip rapidly. Increase, I ploy, crying for what may be, increase, live on. Reincarnated dreams. I wish for you to find your mind, live by thoughts, less by lies. Live by dreams, less by heart, be smart my love. Create a new start.

I step out the door, heavy swing, and the monitor goes blank— steady beat.

Code blue, they rush. Asystole?

I look back as they try to resuscitate my soul. By my body, lifeless by death, I'm now walking out the doors to discover what's next. They don't see me. They don't know I've died. They don't know it's because I've never felt alive.

I sit in the waiting room, unable to breathe. I see myself walk out the door, blissfully experience grief.