We matter. All of us matter in one way or another. As confusing as times may be, there is someone out there who is going to stay by our side, someone who will NEVER let us down. There’s a way to reach where we’re supposed to be and there’s a way to recognize our importance to the world.
The world would change without you in it. You play an important part in everything happening now, and everything waiting to happen in the future. Don’t run away when things become unbearable. Don’t shun out others. Let them in, talk to those who are there to listen. Don’t be afraid of trust, truth, and comfort. Those are just a few of the many emotions formed to make us realize the complexity of the human being and the fulfillment of realizing we are amazing creatures and have so much to live for.
Stop looking around at the negatives of the world; the murders, forces of nature, abandonment, abuse, solitude. The world will never be perfect, or near perfection. That is how life is, that is where we are and where we will remain. You may not be able to be an optimist, but you can learn to accept things for how they are instead of throwing everything to the side. “I am a flower quickly fading,Here today and gone tomorrow,A wave tossed in the ocean,A vapor in the wind.Still you hear me when I'm calling,Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,And you've told me who I am.”
Find yourself. Find who you want to be; you are the only one who can define yourself. You can be nothing but a depressed person, or you can be a depressed person who is gradually working to recover. You can be a fearful person, or you can be someone who fears but works to build up courage. You can be struggling, but someone who is set on becoming stronger. Don’t let your mind overtake your soul. Two completely different things, keep them that way. Your soul is pure, no matter what incidents your past holds. It is a clean, God-given gift. He crafted each and every one of our bodies, hearts, beings. He did, God. He gave us minds, but of which we have formed on our own conscience. He overlooks us and our decisions, as petty and disappointing as most of them are. Yet, he gave us the free will to create our own selves. Not to create our particular human form, but our morals and our standards. Find your inner self, don’t be afraid of it. Someone out there is ready to listen. Someone out there is ready to help you. Don’t run away, let that person in. It’s a decision you must make on your own but it’s also a decision you must think about.
There are over 6 billion people in the world. Each of us matter. We all have a different purpose. Over 6 billion variations seem impossible, but it is living. We all struggle, we all doubt. But there is someone waiting, someone calling. Look around you, a someone, your someone, may be sitting right next to you. They may be watching over you. They may be miles and miles away. But they are there. You are connected with them, in unimaginable ways. Don’t run away when you feel there is nothing to live for. YOU MATTER. You matter to me, you matter to everyone in the world, even though you may not know it yet. But you matter, and if nothing else, you matter to Him. Don’t fear, break down and accept the things you cannot change. Then take a step back to realize your importance in the world.
Ease your mind and replenish your soul. Remind yourself someone is waiting for your answer to His call. Don’t run, don’t fear. Be guided in finding yourself, despite your past.
“Still you hear me when I'm calling…And you've told me who I am.”
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Patience.
Who has the ability to understand the concept of patience, to the fullest extent? We all have some sense of it but even so, barely any of us show it every single time it’s needed. Patience is one of the key factors in becoming a well developed, kind person. And without it, we are only dooming our future persons. But seriously, why is it all that important? I mean more than half of the things in this world take time to develop, understand, fall into place, etc. But beyond all that, it ties into trust. And trust is one of the only things people today grab hold of in times of need.
In order to trust, one must be patient and have a significant amount of patience to endure everything trust may bring. Trust is hard. Patience is even harder. The saddest part is one cannot be fully developed without the other. Hand in hand, moon in the sky, sand on the beach, stars during the night. None can exist without the other, just as trust cannot coincide without patience.
The definition of patience is a quick and steady perseverance. So how does, or how can, one work to this stance of diligence? The answer is simple- move at a slower pace. Take time to notice the smaller things around you as gifts instead of faults. Birds chirp to make music, not noise. Dogs bark to warn, not annoy. Technology dying from working to the best of its abilities for as long as it can bear instead of being a useless piece of plastic, metal, or what is so. Rain falls to replenish nature, not burn out plans for a Friday night. Things around us are more good than bad. Yeah, there are definitely a countless number of faults and defects. But somehow we need to readjust our minds to understand the concept of good vs. evil where good wins.
Patience is more than the word we were taught in grammar school. Its definition is more in depth than the most educated people of the world can grab hold of. Its complexity overwhelms me. The drastic measure needed to reach true patience engulfs me even more.
And this, coming from a girl who has focused on nothing but the negatives for the longest time? It means something. It means we are going to be completely dramatized, completely shocked, when we come to the conclusion that without patience- without trust- we cannot go anywhere.
In order to trust, one must be patient and have a significant amount of patience to endure everything trust may bring. Trust is hard. Patience is even harder. The saddest part is one cannot be fully developed without the other. Hand in hand, moon in the sky, sand on the beach, stars during the night. None can exist without the other, just as trust cannot coincide without patience.
The definition of patience is a quick and steady perseverance. So how does, or how can, one work to this stance of diligence? The answer is simple- move at a slower pace. Take time to notice the smaller things around you as gifts instead of faults. Birds chirp to make music, not noise. Dogs bark to warn, not annoy. Technology dying from working to the best of its abilities for as long as it can bear instead of being a useless piece of plastic, metal, or what is so. Rain falls to replenish nature, not burn out plans for a Friday night. Things around us are more good than bad. Yeah, there are definitely a countless number of faults and defects. But somehow we need to readjust our minds to understand the concept of good vs. evil where good wins.
Patience is more than the word we were taught in grammar school. Its definition is more in depth than the most educated people of the world can grab hold of. Its complexity overwhelms me. The drastic measure needed to reach true patience engulfs me even more.
And this, coming from a girl who has focused on nothing but the negatives for the longest time? It means something. It means we are going to be completely dramatized, completely shocked, when we come to the conclusion that without patience- without trust- we cannot go anywhere.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
DEEP RED
One piece, one look. It digs through, deep into your soul. Looking down, there’s nothing but a deep red liquid flowing out. Something so little finds a way to satisfy so much. The dark red blood symbolizes the fear and hate caged inside. As the piece of metal comes in contact with the bare, pale, scarred flesh, it rapidly flashes across to only make another memorabilia of the depression and stress overtaking your whole body. It’s an indescribable comfort. Safety somehow finds its way like nothing else does. The thought of the rush, the looseness, the compelling impulse to see the dark red color, only to prove you’re still alive. Something inside is still living, even if your external figure feels as if it is not. It digs deep down, hitting further than the bottom of your heart, further than even your soul. Nothing feels as good but at the same time as terrifying. The blood is no longer a part that keeps you alive, but an addiction. Taking one look at what once was a factor of seclusion is now a factor of acceptance. Each time a scar is made, the want of more increases. The deep red becomes more undeniable each time until one day, it all subsides into a darkness like no other.
23 murders, 25 days
25 murders in 23 days. It has to mean something about what the world is coming to. We kill people out of hate, selfishness, and retaliation. Has society really dropped so low to where it seems murder is the only way out? The death of someone may not affect the murderer, but there are friends and family who have to face the consequences of the other’s egotistical action. Murder may not even mean the death of someone, entirely. It could be the murder of everything someone once stood for, their reputation or their standards.
Someone comes into your house with a gun. They drag each of your family members out of each room and sit them on a sofa. Everything is blurred and you can’t make out the person’s face. You hear screaming come from your mouth and your mother’s. You hear the man say he is going to kill each person, one by one, and everyone else has to watch another suffer until there is no one left. You hear a gunshot and then your mother scream. You realize your father has been shot. As each second passes, your surroundings become more blurred. You’re so terrified it feels as if you’re going to fall and never be able to recover.
Then with one pull back of air, you jump back into reality. It was nothing but a dream.
For some people, it’s reality. Some people have to face the fact that someone important to them I gone forever from someone else’s mistake. And the fact is the murder most likely won’t even be phased by what they’ve done.
Look around; murders are lurking and hiding behind fake smiles and excuses. They say they’re sorry for gossiping, betraying, everything else that may come up. But they aren’t. They take pride in what they’ve done and believe they’ve earned respect for exposing you to something you have always hoped to keep hidden.
25 murders in 23 days? When the world ends let’s hope it’s not because of murder.
Someone comes into your house with a gun. They drag each of your family members out of each room and sit them on a sofa. Everything is blurred and you can’t make out the person’s face. You hear screaming come from your mouth and your mother’s. You hear the man say he is going to kill each person, one by one, and everyone else has to watch another suffer until there is no one left. You hear a gunshot and then your mother scream. You realize your father has been shot. As each second passes, your surroundings become more blurred. You’re so terrified it feels as if you’re going to fall and never be able to recover.
Then with one pull back of air, you jump back into reality. It was nothing but a dream.
For some people, it’s reality. Some people have to face the fact that someone important to them I gone forever from someone else’s mistake. And the fact is the murder most likely won’t even be phased by what they’ve done.
Look around; murders are lurking and hiding behind fake smiles and excuses. They say they’re sorry for gossiping, betraying, everything else that may come up. But they aren’t. They take pride in what they’ve done and believe they’ve earned respect for exposing you to something you have always hoped to keep hidden.
25 murders in 23 days? When the world ends let’s hope it’s not because of murder.
Mending Mistakes
All the feelings in the air around you are seemed to be of disappointment and vulnerability. Trust is broken; you try to fix everything you’ve done for both yourself and the people around you. But no matter what happens, you feel like you’re walking on broken glass. Sometimes, the mistake cannot be placed exactly to what you’ve done wrong, but there’s something. You retrace your steps all the way back until the last time something went wrong; you reevaluate everything you’ve done, everything you’ve said. There are hints along the way, but there’s no way to place it.
So you say you’re sorry. Sorry for leaving, sorry for lying, sorry for believing so much more than what you should have. Sorry for things that were unclear to you but you knew that as cliché as the word was, it had to hit home in some way, shape, or form.
But no one believes you. You feel like the little boy who cried wolf. The one time you feel like you really are sorry, no one can see that. They begin to recognize your actions over your words.
The quiet scares you, overwhelms you, because nothing but thoughts are rushing around in your head. Sometimes, it makes you want to scream and cry because everything you need and everything you want is just out of reach. Forgiveness is out of reach when you need it most- love, compassion, understanding, intellect, inspiration. ALL of it is out of reach.
You may go your whole life never figuring out what you did wrong. It’s something you need to live with. Once you lose trust, things will never be seen the same again. And there’s no way to fully mend a mistake, no matter what everyone says.
So you say you’re sorry. Sorry for leaving, sorry for lying, sorry for believing so much more than what you should have. Sorry for things that were unclear to you but you knew that as cliché as the word was, it had to hit home in some way, shape, or form.
But no one believes you. You feel like the little boy who cried wolf. The one time you feel like you really are sorry, no one can see that. They begin to recognize your actions over your words.
The quiet scares you, overwhelms you, because nothing but thoughts are rushing around in your head. Sometimes, it makes you want to scream and cry because everything you need and everything you want is just out of reach. Forgiveness is out of reach when you need it most- love, compassion, understanding, intellect, inspiration. ALL of it is out of reach.
You may go your whole life never figuring out what you did wrong. It’s something you need to live with. Once you lose trust, things will never be seen the same again. And there’s no way to fully mend a mistake, no matter what everyone says.
Crumpled Paper
Crumpled pieces of paper on the floor. They end up being tossed into a trashcan. Not recycled for future use, just thrown away; like they’re meaningless. And on those pieces of paper are thoughts, ideas, dreams, passions, wants, need, encouragement, words. Each ink spot, scratch out, eraser mark means something. And even if they seem pointless, we could need them someday.
Attentiveness
Attentiveness is a big word for something that should seem so small. To be attentive, to pay attention, to be thoughtful, to be considerate, to observe and evaluate- THEN act. It all means the same. But lately, this big word has taken hold of a larger meaning.
It’s difficult to just.. Not notice how much you pay attention to the little, and big things around you; even the big things that aren’t around you but should seem like they could be figured out. If you see a sign, a vivid, understandable sign, then you should be open to its possibilities. ALL of them. Chances are they are going to benefit you, and if not now, in the long run they’re bound to help in one way or another. However, attentiveness doesn’t always mean a change, or even something you should act upon. It could just be something obvious you need to at least consider.
This past weekend, I was told to be more attentive as my reparation. I’m crying in front of him, all alone, out of anger, sadness, guilt, and relief. And the only words said to me were:
“Be more attentive..”
I had no idea what he meant nor did I ask. It was just a word of which I DID know the logical, legitimate definition, but I didn’t know how it could ever pertain to me.
Now I’ve realized that one word is a big part of life, of anyone’s life, no matter what place they’re in. To get through tough time, to hold on to those ever so lovely fulfilling times, and even more important, to be STRONG enough to ask for help. And although it is a big word, it shouldn’t be scary, intimidating, or impossible to uphold.
I’m not afraid anymore. For the FIRST TIME, I’m not afraid. Not afraid to notice all the things around me I’ve always wished to be oblivious to. That, of which, is good and bad. I must now act upon what I’m realizing even though it’s going to be hard as hell.
“Attentiveness (adj.): Characterized by or giving attention; observant”
Big word, big meaning. And even though it sounds small, it is so much to own up to.
It’s difficult to just.. Not notice how much you pay attention to the little, and big things around you; even the big things that aren’t around you but should seem like they could be figured out. If you see a sign, a vivid, understandable sign, then you should be open to its possibilities. ALL of them. Chances are they are going to benefit you, and if not now, in the long run they’re bound to help in one way or another. However, attentiveness doesn’t always mean a change, or even something you should act upon. It could just be something obvious you need to at least consider.
This past weekend, I was told to be more attentive as my reparation. I’m crying in front of him, all alone, out of anger, sadness, guilt, and relief. And the only words said to me were:
“Be more attentive..”
I had no idea what he meant nor did I ask. It was just a word of which I DID know the logical, legitimate definition, but I didn’t know how it could ever pertain to me.
Now I’ve realized that one word is a big part of life, of anyone’s life, no matter what place they’re in. To get through tough time, to hold on to those ever so lovely fulfilling times, and even more important, to be STRONG enough to ask for help. And although it is a big word, it shouldn’t be scary, intimidating, or impossible to uphold.
I’m not afraid anymore. For the FIRST TIME, I’m not afraid. Not afraid to notice all the things around me I’ve always wished to be oblivious to. That, of which, is good and bad. I must now act upon what I’m realizing even though it’s going to be hard as hell.
“Attentiveness (adj.): Characterized by or giving attention; observant”
Big word, big meaning. And even though it sounds small, it is so much to own up to.
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